


Starcrossed Losers

by BeTheSammyToMyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Cute, Cute Dean, Cute Sam, Dean realizes his feelings, Dean thinks he's straight, Falling In Love, Funny, Humor, Light Dom/sub, Lovely, M/M, Pretend couple, Romantic Getaway, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sam Winchester is So Done, Sam and Dean pretending to be a couple, So much angst, Switch Dean, Switch Sam, Wincest - Freeform, dean is oblivious, romantic, super cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTheSammyToMyDean/pseuds/BeTheSammyToMyDean
Summary: Sometimes hunting makes you realize things, Dean just never expected it to be the one where he and Sam pretended to be a gay couple...





	1. Why Sam, why?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know exactly what I'm going to do in this story, I'm starting it only knowing parts and the end. We will see what happens. Please leave some comments and some kudos, that'll be very much appreciated. Anyways, I hope you will enjoy my story!

Dean usually wasn't very picky about the hunts he went on with his little brother. Honestly he didn't really care, as long as they saved people and ganked some monsters. Sure, he had preferences, he liked some monsters more than others. There were big differences between vampires you could have a normal conversation with versus a disgusting flesh eating zombie that was rotting away. So, yeah, maybe he was picky in some ways but mostly it mattered if he could save people or not. That was what he had been raised to do, it was what he would always do. Dean didn't see himself ever doing something else, it just wasn't possible to him. Where Sam had always wanted to be normal, Dean couldn't see himself ever even trying to be normal because he knew what was out there in the dark, he would always be looking over his shoulder because he just wouldn't be able to ignore what was going on in the supernatural world. He was already too fucked up in the mind to ever have his normal.

When Sam brought up a new hunt with a body count of eight, Dean was immediately in for it without even hearing what exactly he was jumping into. It was a hunt, that was what he was made for. He had been training since he was four years old, and he was one of the best hunters in the entire world. Even though he hated himself and he thought extremely low of himself, Dean could admit to being a good hunter. He wasn't going to say no to a hunt, no matter what. This was a way he could do good, to make people proud, to save people. Dean didn't think he could physically even say no to hunting, it would go against _all_ his instincts. So, the Winchester brothers packed their bags and went on their way. And that's how the boys found themselves on the road once more, Sam with his laptop in his lap (that man could get WiFi everywhere, Dean thought _that_ was the biggest mystery in the world) and Dean with his hands on the steering wheel.

"So, where exactly are we going? And what exactly are we hunting?" Dean had turned the music down a little, just so he could hear his brother talk over the classic rock because he actually had no idea what the hell they were hunting. It could be anything at this point, because the whole entire world was fucked up in every each way. It seemed like there was a constantly increasing amount of monsters, and it wasn't stopping any time soon. The only thing they could do was go after them one by one and murder them and hopefully turn the world into a safer place.

"We are going to a small resort in the middle of a forest, it's a small place but the reviews are really good. It's next to a lake and it's really peaceful apparently. The pictures looked nicer than any of our motels have ever done," Sam mused, showing Dean the location of said resort on the map he'd been keeping under the laptop. It wasn't far from where they currently were, just a few more hours. Dean was pretty happy about that because he was already very tired. He hadn't slept much the night before, mostly due to a big thunderstorm that kept him awake. Not being able to sleep through any unfamiliar noises was one of the (many) downsides of being a hunter. But, if Sam told him that this place was going to be better than any motel room they'd ever stayed in, Dean was going to be very happy. A soft bed that didn't smell like cat piss for once was everything Dean needed. "I think it's a ghost, but I'm not sure yet."

"Huh... Okay, so, eight victims?"

"Yep." Sam said, popping the 'p' in that annoying way only he could when he was very nervous or anxious about something. Dean immediately knew something was wrong. Sam was never nervous without there being a reason, and those reasons were usually bad. So, either he was hooked up on demon blood again or he wasn't telling Dean something about the hunt because he didn't want Dean to know.

"Sam," Dean's voice was low, a warning, making Sam shiver a little in the seat next to him. The oldest Winchester brother needed to know the truth of what was going on, because they were going to hunt down a ghost or some other monster and it would be very nice if Dean knew the details on the hunt. That would lower his chances of dying by at least a little, and that sounded amazing to Dean's ears. "Tell me what's going on."

Sam sighed, biting his bottom lip for a second before he finally spoke up. "All the victims were couples, and they all committed some sort of suicide. One couple died in the pool of the resort, one hung themselves in their room, one was a murder suicide, and the last slit their wrists before drowning themselves in the bathtub." Dean hummed a little, nodding slowly. Okay, that did sound like a ghost. Weird suicidal deaths. Or maybe the resort was a place horrible enough to make people want to kill themselves? "They all died in different ways, the only connections they have is that they committed suicide and that they stayed at the resort and, well, that they were all gay couples."

"Oh." Dean breathed out, staring at the road. Right, that wasn't what he had expected. While he wasn't certain what he _had_ expected, it definitely wasn't this. Dean was still processing it when Sam spoke up again because apparently he still hadn't told the whole truth. Had he not learned by now not to lie to Dean anymore? It always ended up horribly. But, then again, Winchesters were stubborn.

"It's a couples resort. For gay couples." 

"Okay uh, how exactly will we fit in there? Unless you brought your pop-up boyfriend in your bag?" Dean asked, his voice a little rough around the edges. Look, he wasn't homophobic, he didn't have anything against gay people. He honestly couldn't care less about what they did and it always stroked his ego whenever a guy hit on him. But Dean himself wasn't gay, or bisexual, or anything other than straight. Neither was Sam, as far as Dean knew. And neither of them had a relationship, so how were they going to get into a gay couples resort without anyone getting suspicious immediately? Unless- "Oh hell no, Sam. I'm not doing that. That's a big ass no."

"Dean, we have to-"

"I don't have to do anything, and certainly most definitely not that," Dean had always known his little brother was a little bit crazy, but this was just insane. He had some acting skills, needed them to pretend to be working for the FBI and not wanted by the FBI, but none of them were anywhere near good enough for him to be able to pretend to be in love with- "You want us to pretend to be a couple?"

"We have no other choice-"

"I have the choice to smack you, that sounds much better to me."

"Dean, grow up. This is a hunt, people are dying, and this is the only way we can solve it." Dean rolled his eyes at Sam's words, muttering something along the lines of _'there is always another way'_ , but Sam was already continuing his lecture about how they were hunters and how they had a code and how they had to save these people. It was a complete and utter bullcrap lecture, by the way. Sam was just playing in on Dean's huge guilt complex. "So, that's why we have to do this. It's the fastest and best way, and I don't know any other ways. Or do you have any?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore." Dean just grumbled after a few moments of silence in which he didn't know what to say, more so angry at himself than at his little brother. He knew that Sam was right, this was the best way to do this hunt, and thus the best way to save people. So, they had to do it whether Dean wanted to or not. Besides, it wasn't like Sam was happy about having to do it this way, right?

"Welcome to our little love shack, you two." The woman behind the counter said in a voice that was a little too enthusiastic to Dean's liking. He didn't like people who were always this happy, because it was never real. It _was_ always fucking terrifying, and Dean hated it 'cause it made him feel very uncomfortable and all they had done was walk into the building with their bags to get their room. "My name is Linda, how can I help you?"

"Well, my husband and I-" Dean clenched his jaw at those words, forcing himself to smile a little when the receptionist looked his way. He didn't want her to think that he was going to murder everyone around him, which was exactly what he wanted to do. Oh boy, did he want to throw his brother off a cliff right now, _Husbands._ Yuck. "We would like to get a room for a few nights. You see, we've been having a bit of a rough time lately and... Well, we decided it was time for some bonding. Right, Dean?"

Dean just grunted, he didn't trust himself to open his mouth and _not_ say something insulting. The lady didn't seem phased, though. She just smiled and nodded, giving them a sympathetic look that made Dean want to throw himself off the cliff he'd wanted to throw his brother off before. "Sometimes relationships can be hard and you're right, some bonding time will do the both of you good. I have a room on the first floor. It has a king size bed, looks out over the lake, and is extremely romantic."

"That sounds perfect." Sam said, figuring that Dean wasn't going to be very talkative. He paid for their room with one of their fake credit cards and got the key, letting the woman show them through the resort. It looked pretty nice, Dean had to admit that. It was big, had a pool (in which people drowned), a sauna, a big restaurant, a bar, a sort-of-casino, and a big outside area with, again, a pool. If Dean didn't have to pretend to be married to his baby brother, he would have been very happy here. The lady then took them to their room which was also very beautiful. It was a cozy open space, kind of like a cottage with wood and a soft rug in front of a fireplace. "Thank you, Linda. I bet Dean and I will have a great time staying here."

"I bet you will too. If you boys need anything don't hesitate to ask." Linda smiled at Sam before she walked out of the room, leaving the boys alone. Dean had the patience to wait until the door was closed before he turned to Sam, eyes spitting fire. He was so done with this already. Not that that was a big surprise, Dean wasn't known for dealing with his emotions very well and this wasn't an exception.

"You can sleep on that- that tiny fucking couch over there, I'm taking the bed." Dean snapped, putting his bag down. He looked around again, eyeing the cute chairs in front of the big windows that looked out over the lake, before he looked at the couch that stood in front of the fireplace. They didn't even have a fucking TV. Dean glanced over at the bathroom, growling in anger when he saw it didn't have a door. "This is Hell, this is literal Hell. I'm taking a nap, wake me up for dinner."

"But-"

"Nap. Dinner. Shut up." 

Sam sighed when he watched his brother take off his shoes and get into the big bed. He didn't have the guts to tell him that it was heart-shaped, Dean would probably kill him if he mentioned that. He looked around, smiling a little. Yeah, maybe it was a little weird to have to pretend to be a couple, but at least they got a really good room to stay in for a few nights and to them that was a blessing. They would do this hunt, kill the monster, save people, and get back on the road. Dean would get over it eventually anyways because, why wouldn't he?


	2. Karaoke Night

Today was not a good day. It had only been thirty minutes in, maybe a little longer, but Dean had already decided that he absolutely hated today. First of all: he had not slept very well. Yes, he was the one who had gotten the bed while his slightly-if-not-much taller baby brother had to stick with the couch. And yes, the bed was also really comfortable and soft and Dean was pretty sure it was memory foam, so it was kind of heaven to lay on that bed compared to any other bed he'd ever been in. But, still. It was horrible to him to wake up and realize that today he would have to pretend to be in love with Sam. Sure, he loved his baby brother, but not like _that._ Why would he? He loved Sam like one would love their siblings. Even thinking about being in love with Sam made Dean feel really weird in his tummy. And not a good kind of weird.

Dean had managed to finally fall asleep early in the morning after hours of thinking about Sam and him and what could go wrong during this hunt, waking up around eight when Sam left the room. He sort of had felt like crying and staying in bed forever, but eventually he got out and took a long shower. It had been refreshing, and the water pressure had been _so_ amazing. Honestly, aside from having to pretend that he was gay with Sam, there was nothing Dean could hate about this resort. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to be a pissy little bitch, because he still wanted to do so. He was stubborn, and he had already decided to hate this place so he had to follow through with it.

Sam had left him a note on the nightstand, one that told him to meet him at the breakfast area downstairs. Dean wasn't very excited to do so, but he kept telling himself that they were doing this for the greater good and they were going to save people by catching this monster. And there would probably be bacon downstairs, which was mostly the thing that kept Dean from freaking out too much and kept him going.

Eventually Dean made it downstairs without being too much of a drama queen, because that was what he was, and he spotted his little brother seated at a table with another couple on the other side, talking happily. Great, it was way too early to start this. Dean sighed, walking over to the buffet and loading his plate with bacon and sausages, getting himself a cup of coffee with three sugar cubes because he needed them, and then finally heading over to the table. He had debated on just sitting somewhere else to eat his breakfast and completely ignore his brother, but Sam would probably shove something up his ass. And not his dick. They were working, this was work. He had to do this. Besides, Sam didn't like doing this either, right? No, Sam probably hated it just as much as Dean did, if not more.

"Mornin'," Dean glanced at the two strangers on the other side of the table before smiling at his brother, sitting down at the table next to Sam. "They have amazing bacon here."

"I know, but would it kill you to add something healthy to that plate? Maybe some fruits?" Sam glared at Dean's assortment of greasy breakfast foods, making Dean snort and roll his eyes. By now the youngest Winchester should know that Dean wasn't going to ever willingly eat fruits or veggies unless they were fried, covered in chocolate, or Sam's life depended on it. "Dean, these are Mark and Justin. They've been here for a few days now."

Dean noticed the slight eyebrow raise that Sam did to signal 'they might know stuff', as if Dean didn't realize that already. "Huh, cool," Dean glanced between the two, settling on giving them a very charming grin. That was something he could easily do, Dean was very nice on the eye. "It's nice to meet you. Pretty gay here, huh? I mean, really? Heart shaped beds? Do they really have to lay it all on this thick?"

Justin raised a brow, glancing at Sam before he looked back at Dean, as if he was asking Sam if his partner (yes that was Dean) was serious. "Well, we _are_ gay, aren't we?" Right, Dean might have just forgotten about that a little bit. Because he wasn't gay, not in any way. So he didn't have to remember it, right? He would have known it by now if he liked dick. Right? "But, I guess you're right. That Linda? She told us we could partake in the karaoke nights. I mean, sure, we're gay. But that doesn't immediately mean we like karaoke. Right, Mark?"

"I kinda like karaoke." Mark muttered, not even looking up. He looked very different from his boyfriend, and Dean was so sure that this guy was the bottom. And yes, he had wondered how it would feel to get something shoved up in his ass, but he was sure it couldn't be that good. Maybe he should try one day.

Dean snorted, taking a sip of his coffee. "I like it when I'm extremely drunk. And that's when I can handle people like Linda, who are off their tits on drugs."

"Dean, be nice," Sam hissed, knobby elbow hitting right between Dean's ribs which made him wince and nearly double over in pain. Hey, he was delicate. Sam couldn't do shit like that to him, it hurt. "Linda was a very nice lady who didn't do anything but help us. So, shut up and eat your breakfast." Dean rolled his eyes, winking at Justin before he started munching on his breakfast, not really listening to the conversation happening around him. He was too hungry, the breakfast was too amazing, and too bored, and too not interested. Yeah, like he said before, today was not going to be a great day at all...

"Right, so, I have tried to ask Linda about this but all she wants to talk about is the karaoke which apparently is going to happen tonight," Sam said, licking his lips- which totally wasn't something that Dean noticed, of course. Why would he notice something like that? This was his brother we're talking about. He _never_ stared at the lips of anyone related to him, because that was just gross and disgusting. And Dean wasn't gross or disgusting. "So I guess we have to go."

"Hell no," Dean immediately said, shaking his head. Sam had allowed him to walk around the place instead of talk to Linda or anyone else, and Dean felt like he wasn't yet done with having alone time. He needed much more alone time. A few days, maybe. Or years. Years sounded good. Sure, he had done some exploring with the EMF meter, but he hadn't yet come up with anything. It wasn't really easy either with all the couples walking around. "We are _not_ doing karaoke."

Sam glared at Dean, but Dean glared back at Sam and he was going to stand his ground. There was no way they were going to end up doing karaoke, because Dean didn't want to do it and he was manly enough to say no. Which is why he ended up an hour later in the bar of the resort, watching as another couple was singing like they could actually sing. There wasn't enough alcohol in the world to make this a better time. Whoever or whatever was killing people here in this resort was doing the right thing, because none of them came anywhere near being mediocre at karaoke. Dean hated it, hated this hunt. They were one day in, hadn't yet figured out _anything_ , and Dean was already going crazy, which was the only thing they had accomplished. Sam's hand was on his knee, for some reason, and the touch was basically burning through the jeans he was wearing. Dean had been right this morning: this was a horrible day...


	3. What's cookin' good lookin'?

"Sleeping is for the weak, and I am not weak. I am the king, the master, or no sleep," Dean muttered to his own reflection, pulling at the bags under his eyes, trying to rub them away. Yeah, okay, he looked horrible. So what? It wasn't like he was trying to get with anyone or anything. Besides, he was hot as hell, even with blackness underneath of his eyes. He bet that girls would still want him- if there were any at this stupid place. Because there weren't, because he was at a very gay couples resort. And there were no women there or anywhere near this place, which was just a disgrace. 

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Sam asked, with no regard to Dean's private space because he just came barging into the bathroom, reaching around Dean to grab his toothbrush. "Dude, stop hogging the mirror. And go pull on some clothes, I don't need to see you in a towel."

"Don't need to- what? Uh, you're the one who came in uninvited, Sam! That's so unfair to do," Dean huffed out, smacking Sam on the back of his head. This was normal for them, normal for any siblings, right? It was just banter, fights that were simple and didn't mean anything. It totally wasn't very couple-ish of them to do this. Dean told himself that a few times in his head to keep himself calm. It was just sibling rivalry. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing other than that. Anyone who even thought of them being able to be together? They were crazy in the head. "I'm putting that toothbrush up my ass if you're not careful."

"I thought you didn't like taking things up the ass?" Sam smirked, making Dean's cheeks flush darkly as he realized the context of Sam's words. If he hadn't wanted to kill Sam before, well, he did now. He hated those words more than he could ever admit. Dean wasn't gay, he wasn't even a little bit gay. Like, not even the tiniest bit. "We have that couples' cooking class tonight-"

"We are actually going to that?" Dean had honestly thought it had been a joke. Sam had suggested it, and Dean had laughed and told Sam that 'sure, they should totally do that'. But that had been _totally_ sarcastic, obviously. Why would he ever actually want to do cooking? It wasn't that he didn't like to cook, 'cause Dean actually enjoyed that. He liked baking and cooking and all that, especially because Sam seemed to always enjoy it and be surprised that he enjoyed it. That was always fun, 'cause Dean got to be smug about that. But actually being in a group of people who were all going to be clingy? Ugh.

"Yes, I signed us up for it. And it's going to be a little bit suspicious if we never show up for any of the activities. They're supposed to help us."

"You do realize that we aren't actually a couple, right?" Dean snorted as he looked at his little brother, not really getting what was up with him. Like, obviously they weren't a couple. Sure, they were mistaken for a couple often but that was just because people were incredibly stupid. 

"Of course. Just- shut up, Dean. Couples' cooking class. Tonight. And no more flirting with the waitress, got that?"

"You're never any fun." Dean whined but Sam just rolled his eyes and turned away. The oldest Winchester brother took that as a sign to actually leave, which he actually did. He knew they were going to go tonight. It was for the case, right? They could see if anyone was acting weird, and figure out if maybe anyone else had seen something weird. Oh, and if they did this, they would take any suspicion off themselves, obviously. Because they were a couple at a couples' resort, which meant that they had to do couples activities. And maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all...

"You're Dean, right?" 

Dean looked up, blinking a little at the guy. Usually it wasn't a good thing that people knew his name, because people weren't supposed to know his name. He still was a wanted criminal, after all. People weren't going to like that, you probably could understand that at least a little. "Yeah, the one and only. And you are...?"

"Justin. We talked yesterday?" Dean pursed his lips, thinking for a bit before he nodded, scratching the back of his head as he grinned apologetically. God, he was an amazing hunter, but he really needed to learn how to be interested in people who weren't Sam. Hell, sometimes it kind of scared him how all he cared about was his little brother. Weird, right? Dean usually just brushed it off and blamed it on the way they were raised. Just like pretty much everything else: this was their father's fault. 

"I'm sorry, dude, I'm really tired. I mean, our neighbors were really going at it. It was like one was _trying_ to push the other through the wall." 

"Yeah, I think I heard those too." Justin laughed, nodding his head slowly before rubbing his lips, licking them like he was about to have sex with Dean. It was really weird. "So uh, you're here with your partner, right?"

"Sam? Yeah, uh, he's trying to get more information on that couples' thing tonight. Cooking, I think it was."

"Right, yeah, cooking... So like, are you exclusive? 'Cause Mark and I, we uh, we sometimes do it with others. Well, I do. But he's cool with it. I guess."

"Huh," Dean breathed out, feeling a little awkward now that that guy had basically confessed to being a serial cheater. Sure, Dean might not be the most honest guy on earth, but at least he was't a cheater. Cheating on your spouse was just horrible. Why the fuck would you do that? Dean had heard of relationships where both parties consented to have other sexual relationships outside of the relationship they were in. And Dean thought _that_ was pretty damn awesome. I mean, if everyone involved consented then, well, there wasn't anything wrong with it, right? "So uh, what's that got to do with me and Sammy?"

"Can I do it with Sam?"

"You _punched_ him?!" Sam's voice was raised, very raised. It was kind of like yelling, really stupid yelling like Dean had done something wrong. Which he hadn't. "God, Dean! You're such a caveman! All you can think about is women and violence, isn't it? You're so stupid! You could have ruined _everything_! How could you have been so-"

"Stupid? Yeah, yeah, I get it. I shouldn't have punched him. I should've just let him fuck your ass." Dean huffed out, rolling his eyes. He was seated on the bed, Sam towering over him and pacing the room, but he stopped the moment Dean mentioned the fucking that Justin would have done. Hey, in that moment he'd hardly even thought about it. That ass had mentioned fucking Sam and well, suddenly his face was on Dean's fist. His own fault for being so stupid, right? I mean, who the fuck just _says that_ ? Disgusting, really.

"He wanted to what now?"

"Yeah, he wanted to fuck your ass. Get it now? I punched him 'cause we're fake boyfriends, remember?" Dean rolled his eyes again, he liked doing that. It brought the drama to the conversation, you know? And Dean liked drama, sometimes. Even if he would never admit that. He wasn't crazy, he wasn't going to admit to liking drama. He liked peace too, you know? Just drama more. "I protected you, just like a great boyfriend would. Because that is what I am, the most amazing boyfriend in the world."

"I hate you. You could've just told him off instead immediately going ape-brain and punch him." Sam huffed out, looking away, his cheeks tinted a little red. Maybe he was getting sick or something? Dean hadn't even been that bad. He hadn't even punched the guy hard enough to break his nose, so it was nothing. Right? Just a stupid little punch which couldn't have hurt that bad. "You're impossible. For your sake, I hope we'll still be let into the cooking class."

"Oh, please. I sure hope so."

"Shut up, Dean. You could have fucked this up real bad for the both of us, _and_ for whoever is going to be killed next. Good job, Dean, I hope you're happy with yourself." Dean sighed as he watched Sam walk away, looking down after Sam left the room. Yeah, no, he wasn't happy with himself at fucking all. You wanna know why? Because Dean didn't punch Justin because of the case. He punched Justin because he felt jealous and he wanted to make sure that that asshole knew that Sam was his'. Weird, right? Yeah, Dean was definitely not happy with himself...


	4. Hiking Boots

"Man, this sucks," Dean muttered, stirring the pot of noodles. Look, he already knew how to cook. Sam was the one who didn't know how to chop vegetables. I mean, everyone always treated them like Sam was the smart one, but who do you think always helped him with his homework? It wasn't John-who-is-always-gone Winchester. No, it was Dean who took care of Sam. But no one ever saw that or appreciated that. When Sam was still young, just back from college, he always used to make Dean feel bad about this stuff. Used to talk about Dean like Dean was treating him like used luggage- at one point he really did describe their relationship like that. And that hurt, because all Dean had ever done was look out for Sam and try and make everything easier for him. "I mean, this isn't even how you like it."

"It's not?" Sam asked, glancing at Dean from where he was still struggling with the bell peppers. Dean rolled his eyes, walking up to Sam and nudging him to the side. Gently, of course. He didn't want to raise suspicion. They were still a pretend couple, after all. "It's just pasta, I bet it's fine."

"It's really not. There's too many bell peppers, and you're gonna think it's too salty. I mean, come on, why are we putting salt in everything? You are gonna be one hell of a thirsty boy tonight." Dean muttered, handing Sam the spoon and mentioning for him to stir the noodles. Man, how did Jessica ever put up with someone who couldn't even cut vegetables? Dean really hadn't raised him right, had he? "Try and taste it, you're gonna hate it."

"I bet it's not that bad. We didn't even put in that much salt," Sam said while he grabbed a spoon and scooped up some of the pasta sauce, blowing on it to cool it down before eating it. He pulled a face, making Dean smirk. Ha, see? He knew Sam like the back of his hand. Two grains of salt and that guy would be chugging on the goddamn faucet all night long. "O- Oh God."

Dean winked at Sam, unable to stop himself from smiling smugly. Fuck all those idiots who dared to say that Dean Winchester didn't know his little brother. He'd been raising him- taking care of him- since he was four years old. More than thirty years of living in each other's pockets, being the only thing that kept the other sane, being the only one the other could trust, yeah it did things to you. And to Dean, well, it did more things than it should. And Dean wasn't going to think about those things. Whatever they were. "Told you so."

"Oh shut up," Sam mumbled, grabbing a glass and drinking some water. Dean chuckled, shaking his head before swiftly cutting up the vegetables, not noticing that Sam was watching him. "How did you know anyways? I mean, you never really cook."

"I never- oh I'm gonna kick your ass. Jesus, college boy isn't really all that smart, is he? I could draw a penis on your face and you wouldn't even notice it," Dean huffed, actually feeling kind of hurt. There had been millions of times where Dean cooked for them. Or well, usually for Sam. Because that's what he did, he took care of Sam, looked out for him, made sure that Sam was okay even if that meant that Dean himself wasn't. Because Dean didn't matter as much as Sam did. Not to anyone. "Kid, I couldn't always cook for you cause usually we didn't have the supplies. But whenever we could, I would get you a nice homemade meal. You always just thought it was takeout cause I didn't present it with garnishes or whatever."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Now shut up, and get back to stirring those noodles. Someone else can eat this crap. When I get the chance, I'm gonna make you some actual good pasta." Dean said, not really noticing how Sam was smiling at his back, or how in love Sam looked. If he had, they might've already been together. Or Dean would've freaked out. That was a greater possibility, wasn't it? Yeah, because up until now Dean had just pushed away all of his feelings and ignored them. So he wasn't just going to accept them all of a sudden, now was he? His brain would probably break if he did so. It scared Dean to death that he was feeling these feelings. So he ignored them. And that was that. No feelings, no problems...

"Alright, so I signed us up for the hike today. So get your hiking boots on," Sam said, walking back into the room after taking a shower. He looked so warm and soft, and his grey shirt clung to his body because he apparently couldn't dry himself properly. Not that Dean was looking, of course. Why would he be looking? He wasn't insane, or weird like that. "Dean, hello? Are you even listening?"

"Huh?" Yeah, maybe Dean hadn't been listening. But Dean didn't want to think about not paying attention. Because that wasn't a good thing, it just meant that he was distracted by Sam's... abs. And that man had some damn abs, dude. Like, he was built like Dean _wanted_ to be built. But instead, Dean had muscles under a tiny layer of pudge that wasn't attractive to anyone. Yeah, Dean kinda hated himself. He was getting older, his attractive days were over, and now Sam was the pretty one of them both. Which he might've always been already. 

"I'm guessing that's a no. I signed us up-"

"For the hike today, yeah. I got that part. I should get my hiking boots on or whatever." Dean muttered, already pulling his socks on. He disliked hikes, they were way too much work for anyone to enjoy, right? He had never gotten why Sam liked running or hiking or any kind of exercise. Sam always told him it cleared his mind or whatever, Dean thought that was absolute bullshit. No one enjoyed hikes. "Where are we going? You know I hate hiking, so this better not be too long."

"You're such a bitch sometimes."

"You're the bitch, bitch."

"Jerk," Sam huffed out, grabbing a flannel and pulling it on. "It's not that long. But it'll give us a chance to catch up with some of the other couples, and with Linda, who will be our guide. She'll be telling us about all the stuff in the woods and what not. Maybe even local legends."

"Legends, as in a possibility for us to figure out where this ghost is coming from?" Legends often came from true stuff, they had to start somewhere. And sometimes if enough people believed in legends, those legends actually came true. Which sucked fucking ass. Tibetan thougtforms, right? Dean hated those, he did _not_ have great experiences with those. They sucked fucking ass.

"Mmh. Exactly. I haven't been able to get much time to do research, but there isn't much on this place either. It's like they're covering something up." Sam said, starting to pull on his own shoes, not noticing how Dean was watching him. Which was great, of course. Dean didn't want Sam to notice that Dean was feeling really creepy and disturbing things for his baby brother. God, his innocent little brother. I mean, Sam hardly ever even paid attention to girls in bars. He never went out, especially lately. It was weird, always had been weird. Sam could easily get whoever he want, right? So why didn't he even try? Dean tried. A lot. And he usually succeeded. Sam could too. What girl would turn someone like Sam down, right? "Maybe something did go down."

"Huh... Well, it's an old town, so... Loads of stuff could've happened here. Shitty stuff, too." Every town had its secrets, and some were a little darker than others. Sometimes it was just some stupid money laundering, other times murder. A lot of crappy murder, murder that could leave some very unhappy spirits. And this spirit was targeting gay couples, which meant it had to do something with that, right? 

"Shitty stuff that could have left an unhappy spirit who's killing gay couples left and right."

"Yeah, we gotta gank this homophobic son of a bitch. How long till the hike?"

"We have enough time to eat some breakfast. So, uh, if you're ready..." Sam looked at Dean, smiling a little. The guy was right, he should get some breakfast. He was pretty damn hungry, ready for some bacon and stuff. He could definitely use some bacon and sausages, maybe even some toast. He was hungry for that. And for Sam.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go, Sammy." Dean was just going to ignore that last thought he had. He didn't have that, ever. He was just having a small moment of hallucination, or something. It was nothing. Dean's feelings for Sam were absolutely nothing.

"It's Sam."

"Sure it is, Sammy."

"Sam-"

"I swear to God, if you tell me that your heels hurt one more time, it's you who I'm killing." Sam grumbled out, looking up at Dean from where he was sitting on a log, glaring a little. Okay, yeah, maybe Dean had whined a little before, but it wasn't that much. Just... Seventeen times in the last hour, or something. Yeah okay, maybe Dean sometimes was a whiny little bitch but he couldn't help it. His heels really did hurt. He just needed someone to massage his damn feet.

"Jeez, Sammy, that's not very nice. And that wasn't what I was going to tell you. It's about Justin." Even saying the name of that guy made Dean feel kind of angry again. He hated Justin, just 'cause the asshole decided that he wanted to fuck Sam. And no one could do that, okay? For someone who 'did not feel anything for Sam', he sure was possessive and jealous, huh?

"The guy you punched yesterday?"

"The guy who wanted to fuck you? Yeah, that asshole." Dean huffed, looking at Sam. It was unfair how he got blamed for this while it was obviously Justin who brought this onto himself. It wasn't like Dean had actually _wanted_ to punch him. Well, yeah, he'd wanted to punch him when Justin said what he said, but not before that. He had actually liked Justin. This was so unfair. Dean always got blamed for the shit he didn't do. "Look, I'm sorry that I punched him, okay? I just- the way he was talking about you, it was just gross."

"Yeah, it's fine. Thanks, Dean. I guess you're my knight on the white horse, right?" 

"Is that how you say it? Isn't it the white knight?" Dean asked, making Sam shrug. It did sound kind of nice, being Sam's hero, his savior. Maybe if Dean was that to him, he could also be more? No, that was a ridiculous thought, wasn't it? Like Sam would ever like someone like Dean. Funny thought. Funny, and also extremely stupid. It wasn't going to happen. God, Dean was pathetic. "Eh, whatever. Did you find out anything yet?"

"No, I've been trying to talk to Linda but-" Sam took the sandwich Dean had packed for him, letting out a sigh before taking a bite. It looked like he was enjoying it. Not that Dean was watching or anything like that. "Nothing yet. She wants to keep it a secret, or something. Because I know she knows more than she let's us know she knows. She's just not telling it for some reason."

"Well, she should, so people stop dying... Did you try using those puppy eyes on her?"

"Puppy eyes?" Sam looked like he had no idea what Dean was talking about, which was just stupid. The guy used those eyes of him all the time, and it got him literally everything he wanted. He couldn't say he wasn't ever doing it on purpose, that would be weird. He had Dean wrapped around his finger all these years, always got Dean to do exactly what he wanted. That had to have been on purpose.

"Yeah, when you go all innocent and sweet and make everyone feel bad for you. You do it all the time, gets you whatever you want. You should use it on her, maybe then she'll tell ya." Dean shrugged, sitting down next to Sam and pulling out his own sandwich. "It gives you this real cute look, you know? And everyone falls for it. I'm telling you man, those eyes work on everyone."

"I uh, I guess I'll try." Sam said, smiling a little. Dean nodded, slowly eating his sandwich, not noticing that Sam was looking a little flustered. And maybe a little more than just a little. Winchesters were definitely not known for being very fast on the uptake. If anything, those two brothers were very oblivious. But maybe the universe could help get them together at some point, else they would probably just dance around each other forever and ever...


	5. Ghosty Boys

"So get this." Dean groaned a little at the words that came out of Sam's mouth, rubbing his face. It was never good when the youngest Winchester started a monologue with that, it always turned out to be about some stupid monster. Dean hated those monsters. He kind of wished that he could just get all monsters into one room and explode said room, killing everything in there. That would be great to him. He was simple, he liked easy solutions. Exploding them all at once sounded like a perfect time, like the most fun he would ever have. "I did some research and there's only been two deaths at this place."

"Oh? Okay, so, it's either of those? Any of them die in a weird way?" Dean was so sick of ghosts. Look, yeah, most of them had some horrible shitty backgrounds and were murdered or something, but seriously? You had to kill other people because _you_ felt like crap and had unfinished business? I mean, come on. We've all had crap happen to us, ghosts aren't special. They're just shitty assholes. 

"Mmh. One of them died of a heart attack, which isn't very strange. But, the other one died because of suicide." Sam sat down on the bed, looking at his laptop. Suicide, of course. When was it not suicide or murder? "Craig Hamill was here with his husband for their seven year anniversary. They were a happy couple, but Craig slit his own wrists in the bathtub two days after checking in. Apparently he left a note saying that he'd figured out his husband was cheating on him, and that he killed himself because of that. The husband died three days after that in a mysterious drowning accident. In his shower."

"Huh, impressive... So you think that's our ghost?"

"It fits the mo, right? Until now the couples have all committed suicide, so maybe the ghost is trying to find couples who have cheated on each other and kill them off because this happened to him as well?" Sam suggested, closing his laptop and looking at Dean. "We just have to figure out what's keeping him here. It says that his body was cremated, so there's not really anything leftover to salt and burn."

"Yeah, that's kinda sad. I mean, come on, cheating? That's gross." Dean paused, looking at Sam. He hated cheaters, it was just horrible to do that to your spouse. Just break up with them if you want someone else, you know? Don't do crap like this behind their backs. "Dude."

"What?"

"Justin- right before he asked me if he could fuck you, said that he and his partner weren't exclusive. But from context it didn't seem like Mark knew they weren't. He has sex with others, and I don't think Mark is aware." Dean realized now that, even though he hated Justin very much, he and his partner were in danger. And since Sam and Dean were supposed to be good people, they were going to have to save them. Which was kind of annoying, because somehow Dean felt like Justin deserved to have his ass kicked and his ego lowered a little.

"Crap. The ghost might go after them."

"Yeah, that was what I was thinking. We have to keep an eye on them until we figure out what's keeping ghosty boy here." Dean didn't really like what he was saying, but hey, it was their job. He didn't want to do it, but he was going to have to or he'd feel bad about himself when Justin was murdered in some way. And Mark, that guy didn't deserve it. That poor guy. Dean felt really sorry for him.

"I guess that means we're gonna have to play some games tonight." Dean groaned, realizing that indeed, it was game night. Somehow that would help couples bond. Dean thought that was ridiculous, but what did he know about love, right? All he knew was that he hated those ridiculous puzzles and games.

"I hate this job."

"B sixty-four," Linda said, holding up a small ball. Turned out, game night involved a lot of Bingo. Dean thought that was only for old people, but apparently it was something couples were supposed to do. Dean scratched through the number on his paper, being a little rough with it. Hey, he was pissed off, okay? He hated this, this was just horrible. "I repeat, B sixty-four."

"I feel like an old lady in a nursing home." Dean grumbled, glaring at his paper before he looked at Sam. That guy had a relationship before with Jess, a serious relationship. He should know that this wasn't something you did with your partner. "How is this bonding time? I wanna strangle someone. I'm gonna strangle someone."

"Dean, it's just bingo, it's not that bad." Sam was a big stinking liar. Bingo was a horrible game of old people and stupid prizes. Dean hated it. Bingo was bad, and Sam knew it. He just lied because he wanted to make Dean feel better. It wasn't working.

"Not that bad?" Dean scoffed, looking at Sam and squinting at him. Again, Sam was a liar. "This is literal hell. This is my hell. No wait, I've been in hell and that wasn't that bad. This is worse than hell, I don't get to shoot things."

"You got to shoot things in hell?" Sam looked sort of impressed, which he was because of the wrong thing. Dean hadn't really told him things about Hell because, well, because he didn't like talking about his feelings and he didn't want Sam to know that he was terrified of this whole Hell thing. That was too much feelings for his comfort.

"Not really. I got to use knives- this isn't the conversation we're having now, damn it. We're playing bingo in a damn gay couples resort. This is not a good case."

"It's really not that bad, Dean. Have you seen the prizes?" Dean looked at the prizes on the table next to Linda, grimacing a bit. Why couldn't they have done something better than the prizes they had? Something like three or four bottles of Whiskey to ease the pain of going through this stupid game.

"Why are you getting excited over a bottle of champagne and some damn chocolates? Cause I am not excited for any of that." Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Look, I just wanna go back to normal motel, even if those places are always disgusting."

"You're so dramatic, Dean, no wonder people always think you're gay. We'll be back before you know it, we just have to finish this hunt." Sam said, busy scratching through the next number Linda called out. He actually looked like he was enjoying himself, that bastard. Bingo loving son of a bitch.

"They what now?"

"People think you're gay, Dean. I mean, we get mistaken for a couple all the time." Dean's brain just kind of stopped working at this. No way that people thought he was gay. He was like... the most manly guy in the world. Not that gays couldn't be manly but, you know what I mean. Dean didn't even like pink. Damn it, that was not nice of him to think. Why was he so worried about this anyways? Was he really that insecure that he couldn't even take it when some people thought he was gay? Crap. Hey, he had his moments. Guys were hot. But girls were too. Everyone was hot. It was so confusing. And John never even tried to help him with this, because all John allowed was girls.

"We're... Brothers."

"I know. Good job, Dean, but I knew that... Have you ever-"

"No! No, ew, Sam! I don't think about gay stuff!" Dean said, maybe a little too loud. Luckily no one else seemed to have heard it, and Dean rubbed his flushed cheeks. God, this was a stupid conversation he shouldn't even have with his baby brother. Why would Sam even care about his sexuality?

"Maybe keep your voice down? I know for a fact that you actually have tried things with guys." Yeah, okay, there had been a few times that Dean had experimented. And he had liked it, a lot. I mean, who's idea was it to have guys' prostates placed in their ass? 

"Fine, yeah, a few times. But it was nothing, just experiments. I mean, I have pretty lips, people want to stuff all kinds of things into my mouth." Dean said, pouting a little. Sam stared at his lips, licking his own. Okay, that was a little weird. Was Dean looking into that too much or what?

"Tell me about it... Hey, where'd Mark and Justin go?"

"G forty- nine! G forty- nine!" Linda called out enthusiastically, as if shit wasn't about to go down. Dean scratched at his paper, eyes wide. Damn, he could win that stupid bottle of champagne, get Sam drunk, ask him why he kept staring at Dean's lips.

"Dude, I have bingo!"

"Dean! Mark, Justin! Ghost!" Sam hissed, making Dean groan. Yeah, sure, that was more important than some damn bottle of champagne but goddamn, this was the one time he won something. Dean really hated ghosts.

"But- Ugh, fine! The one damn time I'm enjoying myself, it has to be ruined. Stupid ghosts."

"Okay, uh, so they were just... Having sex. I think Justin now thinks I'm really the weirdest guy in the world. Which might be the truth." Dean said, scratching the back of his head before tucking the gun into his pants. Yeah, it had been awful. Also a little bit strange. Justin hadn't seemed like he was actually really in love with Mark or even liked him anymore, so why were they having sex? But then again, this wasn't really any of Dean's business, now was it?

"Ha, you walked in on them having sex?" Sam looked thoroughly amused and Dean really wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. This was so unfair. Why did Dean always have to get stupid things like this happen to him? "This case is amazing."

"Oh fuck you." Dean grumbled out, smacking Sam's shoulder. Sam didn't even flinch, which was totally unfair, damn it. That man was like a brick wall. "Come on, maybe we can still make the end of bingo."

"You really want that champagne now, don't you?"

"Mmh, yes I do. I won it fair and square, so I deserve it." Dean happily said, starting to walk away from the room he'd just caught two people have sex in when damn it, someone screamed loudly and called out for help. God, fucking ghosts.

"Crap! Dean, ghost!" Sam yelled, running back to the room. Dean burst into it, going right to the bed where a ghost was busy slashing Justin's throat. Or trying to, at least. Had Dean already said that he hated ghosts? Because yeah, he hated ghosts a lot...

"So... That was an experience. Naked people almost dying." Sam said, stitching up a wound in Dean's shoulder. They'd managed to kill the ghost and saved both Justin and Mark. Another hunt with a good ending. It was great. "Fun times."

"I'm considering a career change." Dean muttered, hissing and flinching at the needle, something that made Sam roll his eyes. Hey, it hurt, okay? Dean wasn't completely feelingless. If that was even a word.

"Mmh, and what would you do?" Sam asked, handing Dean a bottle of whiskey, smiling softly in amusement.

"Something where I don't have to dig up someone's goddamn most prized possession because their ghost is haunting a damn resort." Dean grumbled out, taking a swig of whiskey. This whole job was very annoying, even if Dean had no idea how to do any other normal job. How was he supposed to behave? Like a normal human being? Ha. How even did you behave like that?

"Lucky you, there are many jobs where that doesn't need to happen." Sam said, finishing up the stitches and wiping some blood off Dean's arm. Dean felt kind of numb there, and a little heated in other areas. Hey, Sam had been very close to him for a while now and also Dean was very touch starved _and_ there was a lot of adrenaline coursing through his veins.

"I hate this shit. And the worst thing is that everyone thinks we really were a couple."

"You almost died and the couple thing is what bothers you most. I really don't get you sometimes, Dean." Sam chuckled, shaking his head. 

"Right back at you... You okay?" Dean asked, noticing that once again Sam was staring a little too much at him. It was making Dean a little nervous, a little self conscious. Was there something on his face? Besides the thousands of freckles, of course.

"Yeah, just tired. Sweaty. That was a hell of a hunt, huh?" Sam turned away, gathering their stuff and packing everything into their bags again. He was acting really weird, Dean was starting to get a little worried about him. All these weird feelings and whatever, something was definitely not right.

"Let's go back to the bunker. I am more than done with this case. I hate ghosts." Dean just said, moving to get his own bag after getting his shirt back on. Yeah, he was definitely not going to talk about his feelings with Sam. Soon they would be gone anyways. Right?

"Me too, let's go home."


	6. Sweet Dreams

_Sam ran his fingers over Dean's chest, stopping only for a few seconds to toy with his big brother's perky nipples. Dean moaned, arching his back. Holy shit, that felt good. That felt so fucking good. He wanted more, so much more. Dean was desperate for it, and he would honestly do anything for more. Sam was so good to him, had always been so good to him, and the man knew exactly what he needed- or he seemed to know exactly what he needed, somehow. It was kind of impressive, really. They had never done anything like this, but yet Sam knew just how to make Dean feel like he was going to explode with pleasure._

_"Watched you," Sam breathed out into his ear, making Dean whine before frowning a little in confusion. He wasn't sure what this meant, but maybe that was because his brain wasn't exactly working right at this moment. Sam was making him feel way too good for him to be thinking clearly, and he just wanted Sam to shut up and touch his damn dick because Sam was avoiding that certain place all the damn time. "When you jerked off- watched you every time. Pretended to be sleepin', but I touched myself to your sounds. You're a slut for it, aren't you? A slut for being touched. You want it, huh? You always want it."_

_Dean groaned a little, bucking his hips up. Okay, Sam was making him sound like a total sex addict. He wasn't, for your information. He just liked sex, there wasn't anything wrong with that. He always made sure that his partner was feeling just as amazing, if not better, as he was feeling because that was what made sex so great. It was only fun if both parties involved felt amazing, right? Sure, Dean had sex a lot. He was a little bit of a slut, but a good slut. He always made sure to use protection and he always made his partner feel as much pleasure as possible. Dean kind of had a kink where he loved it to see other people losing themselves in pleasure because of him._

_"Maybe it's because no one ever loved you," Okay. Rude. Dean frowned more at Sam's words, looking at him, gasping when he saw his brother staring back at him with yellow eyes. Alright, okay, so that definitely shouldn't be happening. Dean tried to move back, but he couldn't. It was like he was bolted in place. He looked up, seeing that he was suddenly tied to the bed. Shit. He needed to get out, he needed to safe Sam, he needed to make sure that Sam- "Because, let's face it. Has anyone ever loved you, Dean? No, I don't think so. Remember that time you were in Hell? Oh yeah, that was loads of fun, wasn't it? You haven't thought much about that lately. What's dead should stay dead, isn't that what you always said? Doesn't seem to really apply to you anymore these days."_

_He had to get out of here. Dean focused on the binds, trying to ignore Sam's words. This wasn't even Sam, this was yellow eyes- the one they'd gotten rid of years ago. There was just no way in hell that this was happening. It couldn't be happening. Dean had no idea why this was happening. How long had Sam been possessed? Why had Dean not noticed it before? Wasn't he supposed to be a hunter? He should have known this was going on, especially with yellow eyes._

_"Dad never loved you. All he cared about was me. I was always more important to him than you were. Dad never gave two shits about you. If he did, then why did he ever put so much crap on your shoulders, huh?" Sam said, gripping onto Dean's jaw, forcing him to look straight into those yellow, yellow, yellow eyes. To say that Dean was terrified was an understatement. I mean, wouldn't you be terrified if your sibling slash lover was having sex with you and then suddenly was possessed by the demon you thought was dead but apparently is very much alive? No? Okay, you're a psychopath. "Dad never loved you, mom never loved you, I never even loved you. You're just a pathetic, lonely little disgusting freak. Just a worthless, useless, weak tool. You're worth nothing to me, Dean. Nothing at all, Dean. Dean. Dean-"_

Dean shot up, breathing heavily. Where the hell was he? He looked around, noticing the interior of the Impala, and then Sam who was occasionally glancing at him with a worried look on his face while he kept trying not to crash the car. Dean groaned, sinking back into the seat. Fuck. He hated nightmares, they were so Goddamn stupid. They didn't even make sense most of the time, but still they were terrifying. You could be chased by an uncooked potato and you'd be running for your life, man. That would probably also be the case if it happened in real life, but whatever. This is coming from the person who scared herself with a voice that was clearly coming from the singer of the music she was listening to.

"Dude, are you okay? You were making some weird noises." Sam said, making Dean grunt, which was 'Dean-language' for: shut the fuck up and don't bother me. Dean-language wasn't very evolved. But Sam understood it like it had actual words in it, which it didn't. It was mostly grunts and groans and faces. Expressions, as smart people called that. But Sam had been Dean's baby brother for a long time, and more than just a brother too. His friend, the only one who he could trust, the only one who they could love because pretty much everyone else they'd ever loved was dead. Fun, right? "That bad?"

"It was stupid," Dean mumbled, looking out of the window. It was getting dark, the sun had almost set. They'd been traveling for almost a while day now, but they were almost home. Almost back at the bunker. Dean couldn't wait to be back. He missed home. The Impala had been their home for most of their lives, but it wasn't like the bunker. Nothing could ever compare to the bunker. They finally had a solid place to get back to after every hunt, finally a place to rest. They didn't have to run while they were there, they were safe. Dean was happy whenever he was there, and he couldn't wait to one day just stay there forever. No more hunting. "Seriously, stop looking at me like that. It's freaky, man."

Dean couldn't get the feeling of Sam's fingers on his nipples out of his mind, even if it had been fake. It didn't matter because it had felt real to him, and he wanted to know if the actual real thing would feel somewhat similar. Or at least a little close to what he apparently imagined it would feel like. He bet it would feel awesome though. Of course it would, Sam was amazing, Sam would make him feel amazing. And Dean would very gladly return the favor. God, he really was fucked up in the head, wasn't he? He should really get his mind bleached or something.

Sam just sighed, shaking his head. Yeah, Dean could be a stubborn son of a bitch if he wanted to be. Sure, Sam might know his Dean-language and he might know every expression that Dean's face could produce, but still. Suck his ass. Dean could still not tell something and Sam would just know that he had a nightmare, not what it was about. Loophole. (I snapped my fingers after this for whatever reason my weird brain has). Dean just couldn't wait to be home. Maybe somehow everything would go back to normal by then...

The dreams didn't stop.

Nothing went back to normal. 

But maybe this was the new normal. Just like this fall yellow is the new black, this whole love thing Dean had for Sam was something that was new and slightly weird but something he was just going to have to accept. He didn't want to- oh God he just wanted to ignore everything he was feeling in favor of just drinking and feeling slightly like a normal human being, but he also knew that that was never going to happen. When had the Winchesters ever been normal human beings? Exactly. Never. God, Dean's life really fucking sucked ass.

He had to be around Sam all the time now, thinking about the dreams he kept having, thinking about the things that he kept thinking about. Having sex with his little baby brother shouldn't be something he should be thinking about, right? So why couldn't he stop? He wanted to stop, he so desperately wanted to quit thinking about everything because it didn't make sense and it was driving him crazy. He didn't have anyone to talk about it either, because everyone he knew was dead. And Sam knew something was up, but Sam was acting weird too.

Sam kept being too close to Dean, closer than he had ever been. He kept standing to close, he kept touching Dean, he kept trying to figure Dean out and honestly? It was making Dean freak out and build his walls up higher than they already were. He'd even full on cried into his pillow one night, the frustrations just too fucking much. He was in love with his baby brother and he had no idea what to do. He was in love with Sam and he had no idea how to stop it, how to get back to normal. He was in love with Sam and he was sure that Sam would never love him back...


	7. Sammy Reflects

Sam had been in love with Dean for as long as he could remember.

Look, he knew it was wrong. No one had to tell him that, he wasn't stupid. He knew it was incest, and he then knew that incest wasn't a good thing, but did he care? No, not really. He had worked years to try and get over these feelings. At first he thought it was just a lot of admiration. Dean was his big brother after all, and he wasn't surprised that he admired Dean and felt the need to be like him. But, the feelings didn't go away, they only got stronger and developed further into something that was quite peculiar. After this, in Sam's teenage years, he decided that whatever it was that he felt for Dean was more of a teenage crush. We all know that teenagers can be weird, and hey, Dean was very attractive so he wasn't surprised that his hormone filled mind was trying to somehow think of Dean as a potential boyfriend.

But that didn't stop either, not even after the few years that Sam had spent at Stanford. He had thought that, sure, his feelings didn't leave throughout puberty but surely they would leave after he'd been gone for a long time, right? And yes, after months of not being around Dean he stopped feeling what he felt. Or at least he thought so. Sam even got himself a girlfriend, Jessica, and he thought that he was finally freed for every wrong feeling he had ever felt. He was happy, and he felt normal. Hell, he could see himself start a life with his Jessica and have a family with her. He was finally normal.

Until Dean came back into his life. 

That night when Dean broke into his apartment, everything came crashing back down onto Sam and he realized that this wasn't admiration, it wasn't a teenage crush, and he definitely wasn't over it. He was in love with Dean, with his big brother. And all this time at Stanford he had just pretended to be over it and not even known that he was pretending to do so. It was awful, but Sam knew at that point that there was no more point in trying to be normal. This was just it: he was in love with Dean and he could never get over it. All he could do was go on with his life and hope that somehow Dean might feel the same. Not that Dean ever would, of course. But he could still hope, right?

Sam was in love with Dean, and he didn't think he ever really hid it. Of course, he didn't say it out loud, but Dean also never really asked. That was probably because Dean didn't even _think_ that Sam could possibly be in love with him. How could he, right? They were brothers, so there was literally no way Dean would ever think something like this was possible. But, Sam still flirted with him and openly showed that he didn't enjoy it whenever Dean took home girls. He also never hid his sexuality, which was bi. There was just no point in it, now was there? If Dean was going to hate him for being in love, then fine, Sam was not going to blame him for that. But it wasn't going to change anything between them. Sam had never hid his love for Dean, so... If it came out it wasn't going to change anything. 

But Sam wasn't going to tell Dean he was in love with him either, not if Dean didn't ask for it. He wasn't going to just tell him and ruin their relationship. Besides, even if he was completely over trying to get over these feelings, it didn't mean that he wasn't scared. Because he was, he was terrified. It wasn't like he had ever chosen to be in love with Dean, now had he? If he could change it and be normal, he would. It would make literally everything easier. He wouldn't have to be so scared anymore all the time.

Sam was in love with Dean, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

Sometimes there were little bits of heaven.

When Dean was asleep on his tummy, for example. Hugging his pillow, drooling a little bit, just dead to the world. It was amazing. Sam loved to see him like this. Sometimes he even had dreams and Sam could see that cute smile on his lips without Dean wiping it off as fast as he could. Like this, Dean was just Dean. There were no walls, no forced masculinity, no nothing. It was just fully Dean.

Or when Dean came out of the bathroom, having forgotten his clothes. He'd still be a little bit wet, looking as hot as... Well, as something very hot. Dean was just perfect, and sometimes Sam just couldn't help but blame Dean for this all. Maybe it wasn't his own fault for falling in love, maybe it was Dean's fault for being so freakishly hot. Like right now, Dean was searching around in his duffel bag for clean clothes, and all that was separating him from the world was a single towel. Nothing else. His body was pale and soft and strong at the same time, just gorgeous. Sam loved him so much. And he didn't stop staring either. "Sam, do you have any uh, clean boxers?"

Sometimes Sam was a little bit of a dick. He could do things just because he could and because he wanted to, like hiding Dean's boxers. It was a sort of guilty pleasure, I guess. He was a little selfish for doing it, but at the same time he felt like he was doing the world a huge pleasure. Everyone would be able to sort of see Dean's dick through his pants. It was amazing, like Heaven, seriously. Who wouldn't want to see Dean's dick? Exactly. "Uh, no, not really. I was gonna do the laundry soon. Why?"

"Nothin', never mind." Dean muttered, going back into the bathroom. He came back a few minutes later, dressed in tight jeans and a shirt. Dean looked amazing, Sam was so fucking in love and he wanted so desperately to be his boyfriend. He wanted to be with Dean forever and ever. "So, uh, what's this hunt about?"

Sam sighed, pulling out the things he needed like his laptop. He was not excited for this hunt, but at the same time he would be able to spend more time with his big brother and that was amazing. And maybe one day Dean would fall in love with Sam, somehow. That would be amazing, wouldn't it?


	8. Seven Minutes in Heaven

Weeks passed by with both the brothers in complete denial. It was just extremely unfair, but neither of them wanted to admit that they were in love with each other. Of course there was a reason for that, which was that they were brothers and incest was often frowned upon. But then again, they did a lot of things that weren't very liked by society. Like murder and what not. Obviously not murder of good people, but of the bad monsters. Society just didn't really understand that. I mean, would you? 

Anyways, life went sort of back to normal. They went on hunts, did their jobs, and never talked to each other about their feelings. But they both knew something had changed. They weren't the same anymore, neither of them was. Something had changed, and that had to do with the fact that Dean now realized that he was in love with Sam. To him it was something really bad. He shouldn't be in love with Sam, he shouldn't be because this was his little brother. He felt like he was betraying his family, like he was hurting is little brother. He wasn't right in the head for being in love with Sam, he knew that, but he also knew that he couldn't change it. If he thought about it, if he _really_ thought about it, he knew that he'd been in love with Sam for a very long time. All his life, maybe.

It was just all really weird to him. Dean had never really been in love with anyone, he never really felt anything for anyone. Not in the way he felt about Sam. Everything he felt for Sam was different. He loved Sam so damn much, really, he did. Look, he loved both his parents, and he loved his brother as a brother so much, but he also loved Sam in different ways. He was in love with Sam, and no matter how dirty that made him feel, knowing that he was hiding something like this from Sam just made him feel even worse. But how was he going to explain this to him? 

Well, it seemed that fate had a solution for that.

Both boys found themselves locked up in a cage, about to be eaten. Or at least they thought so. Obviously they hoped they'd get out of there before they'd be eaten, but still. They were in danger and they both knew it. Even though they were in danger very often, this seemed different. There were multiple creatures they were hunting down, and they never used to work together- the monsters, I mean. But now they did, which was extremely strange. And extremely dangerous. So, they had no idea if they were going to get out of this alive which was kind of a scary thought. 

"I can't believe we're in crap like this again," Dean muttered, tugging on the lock of the cage again. Yeah, there was no way in Hell that they were getting out of this without some sort of miracle or something. And miracles didn't happen, because the universe hated Sam and Dean for some weird reason. What had they ever done to the universe, right? "I thought maybe we'd finally be smart enough to not let this happen to us, but no. We're in it. Again. I'm so sick of this."

"Yeah, me too... You know, I have no idea how we're gonna get out of this one," Sam softly said, making Dean turn to look at him. He'd never heard Sam give up this easily, because this was him giving up way too easy. It was scary. Dean did not like it. But he needed to take care of this, because there was no way in Hell he was going to let Sam die in a stupid Goddamn cage because he was eaten by some stupid monsters. "Face it Dean, this might be the end of us."

"No, it's not." Dean grumbled, starting to tug on the big lock again, brow set in determination. Sam deserved a much nicer place to die. I mean, he didn't deserve to die at all. Dean didn't want him to ever die, that's why he kept bringing him back all the time. He wouldn't do that for just anyone, obviously, but for Sammy he'd sell his soul over and over and over again. A thousand times and more. He would do literally anything for Sam, everyone in the world knew that.

"Seriously, we're gonna die this time." Sam sighed, leaning back against the bar of the cage, staring up at the ceiling before he looked at Dean. He wasn't going to die without letting his big brother know the truth. "Dean, I'm in love with you," Dean made a sort of garbled sound, shoulders tensing up a little. He had no idea what was going on, so he just kept on tugging on the damned lock. "I'm serious, Dean. I know it's insane, but... I'm in love with you. Always have been. Like, literally in love. I wanted to be your boyfriend since... Forever, I guess. I'm in love with you. I mean, I know it's wrong. I tried so hard to get over you but at the same time I... I can't get over you. I can't ever get over you. I'm in love with you and that's the end of it."

Dean swallowed, slowly turning to Sam, smiling awkwardly while he held the broken lock in hand. "I guess the lock wasn't as strong as it looked." 


	9. The Kiss

Have you ever spent a really long time in a very awkward situation? Yeah, that was what Dean was in now. After getting out of the cage, the first thing the boys focused on was killing the monsters that kept them in there. Obviously that was the most important task at hand, so, that's what they did. They finished their hunt, they ganked the monsters, and got the Hell out of that place. And then there was the car ride home. Well, not home of course, but to the motel. It was very... Uncomfortable. Awkward. Not really a place Dean wanted to be in. It wasn't nice, and Dean had no idea what to do to fix it.

Dean didn't know what to say. He was driving, just trying to focus on that. It was dark and raining and Sam was injured. Not badly, luckily, but he was bleeding from a wound in his arm and Dean was still worried about that. He was always worried about Sam, that was the entire point of his existence. It was kind of why he was still alive. He was sure that if Sam hadn't been there, he would've killed himself a long time ago. He only cared about Sam, only Sam, no one else. Which might be because there wasn't really anyone else who he had ever cared for alive but Dean didn't like to think about that. He hated thinking about it 'cause it hurt. So, he just didn't think about it. Ever. But that didn't mean it wasn't extremely awkward right now.

What Sam had told him kept running through his head over and over and over again. Sam was in love with him. Sam wanted to be his boyfriend. Sam wanted to be together with him. And yes, that was amazing. Wasn't that what Dean had always wanted? It was, yes. So, shouldn't they be kissing right now? Dean guessed that the answer to that was yes. They should be kissing. But Dean was terrified. He really was because he didn't think anything good could come out of this. Sam was going to get hurt because of Dean in one way or another, wasn't he? Dean was going to fuck this up somehow. And it was going to suck.

Sam had been hurt too often already, especially in the love department. I'm talking about Jessica here. Sam hadn't been very lucky, and it was just unfair. Dean guessed that he was just kind of scared of falling in love again. Or at least that's what Dean had thought before he found out that Sam was actually in love with him, which was still kind of insane. He still had a very hard time believing it. How could it be true? Sam, the amazing one out of the two of them, the smart one, the pretty one, the not useless one, was in love with him? Couldn't Sam do much better? But, Dean was terrified of hurting his precious baby brother. He knew he was definitely going to hurt him if he said that he wasn't in love with him, which would be a lie, but he was terrified that he would somehow also hurt him if he said that he _was_ in love with him. So there wasn't really a great option. Dean was scared that Sam would get hurt either way and-

"Dude, would you stop thinking?" Sam asked, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. He glanced at Sam before he looked back at the road, biting his lip. "Seriously, I can basically hear you think. Look, I said what I said and it's the truth. I'm in love with you. I want to be your boyfriend. That's all. I know it's scary and weird, but it's the truth. And I'm not gonna lie about it. I came clean, and I'm not gonna take anything back."

"We're brothers."

"Yeah, I know that. But thank you for telling me," Sam chuckled, smiling a little at Dean. "I know, Dean, and I know how wrong it is. I've tried to fall out of love with you but, you make it kind of impossible by being so gorgeous. You're... Perfect. And I know you're not into the whole chick flick thing, but I'm gonna say that I think you're perfect and I'm in love with you. I'm sick of hiding it like I've done all my life, I'm not gonna keep on doing it. I'm done with that. And if you're not in love with me, then that's fine. I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to," Sam paused, licking his lips to wet them. "But if you are, we can maybe talk a little about it. Figure out what we both want and are okay with."

Dean nodded slowly, chewing more on his lip. He pulled over to the side of the road, everything still dark and rain pounding down on the car. He turned to Sam, watching as Sam raised his brows in confusion. He was about to talk but Dean moved to kiss Sam, cupping his cheek. He loved Sam, he loved Sam and damn it, didn't he deserve to be happy? Didn't Sam deserve to be happy? It was just so unfair, wasn't it? Dean loved Sam, Sam loved Dean and that should be the end of it. They should be together forever. They had spent their entire life getting hurt, and Dean was sick of it. He wasn't going to let Sam get hurt anymore, ever again.

"Oh." Sam breathed out, staring at Dean after he'd pulled away again. Dean licked his lips, nodding a little. "So, I can just assume you like me back, huh?" 

"Yeah, I uh, I do." Dean said, still feeling incredibly awkward with all these feelings. He had no idea what to do, so, he just went with it. He went with his feelings, against what his brain said, and he didn't care that they were brothers anymore. Or at least he tried not to care. "Let's talk about this later. When we've got you all patched up again and we're out of town and rested."

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Sam whispered, kissing Dean's cheek before he sat back again. He didn't stop smiling, not even a few miles down the road again. It was insane, really. Everything was insane. Dean was in love with Sam, they had _kissed,_ and now they were going to talk about it. Which was definitely not something Dean ever did. He never talked about his feelings, and now he was going to have to. It was so weird, but... Dean was happy. He couldn't help but be happy, and he hoped it was never going to end. Maybe this case hadn't been that bad after all...


	10. The Happy Ending

Dean was still waiting for it. For the pain. For the bad things. No matter that days had passed since their first kiss and nothing bad had happened, Dean was sure it was going to happen one day soon. Sam was going to turn out to be a shapeshifter or some kind of creature like that. Or Dean would find out that he was possessed. Or something even worse that Dean didn't want to think about. Something super super bad because, how could it not be something bad? It was always something bad in his life, so why would God suddenly be like: here you go, a Sam for you to enjoy and have fun with. Yeah, that would _never_ happen.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

The brothers were together in a bed. Yeah, they actually shared beds now. They still got two singles because they used the other one for their guns and what not, but they slept together in the other one. It was comfortable, and there was enough space because they were wrapped up in each other's hands anyways. It made it a whole lot easier to sleep too, somehow. Maybe that was just because Dean could be sure Sam was around, seeing as Sam was right there in his damn arms. At least that way he was sure that there was nothing wrong with Sam. "Nothin', Sammy. I just like looking at you."

"I mean, I know that's true. Or at least I hope it is. But, I also know that's a lie. Or at least you're using it as an excuse so you don't have to talk." Sam softly said, moving to turn around in Dean's arms, gently stroking Dean's cheek. The gesture was so gentle and intimate that it made Dean shiver. He had never imagined that touches like these would actually happen, it was just so amazing. "I know you're thinking about something, like... I don't know, but it's something bad. And I don't want you to think of anything bad."

"A little too late for that, Sammy," Dean muttered, leaning in to kiss Sam's lips. The youngest brother hummed, smiling a little before pulling away and giving Dean bitch-face number 37, the one that said that Sam wasn't going to let this go. And Dean knew he wasn't, because Sam was a stubborn ass sometimes. It ran in the family. "I just... I'm just scared something bad is going to happen. You know? I mean, when does bad shit not happen to us? So, I guess I'm just waiting for it to happen."

"Oh Dean," Sam breathed out, cupping Dean's cheek now and forcing him to look into his little brother's eyes. "I know our lives suck. And yes, bad things happen, but don't they happen to other people as well? Yeah, maybe not the exact same things that happen to us but that's not what I mean," Sam sighed softly, pecking Dean's lips. "I just want to say that bad things might happen, but we can't let that stop us from being happy. Not again. We've already waited long enough, and I'm not losing you. Not when I finally have you."

Dean nodded slowly, closing his eyes when Sam kissed him. Maybe his little brother was right. Yeah, bad things could happen, but they could also happen if they weren't together. Bad things could always happen, so that shouldn't stop them from doing what they wanted to do and being happy. And they were happy, so that was a good thing, right? They were actually both happier than either of them had ever been.

"I love you, Sam." Dean whispered for the first time in... Well, ever, maybe. They didn't often talk about their feelings, but Dean figured that Sam deserved to know. Seeing as they had been together for a while now and Sam had been so sweet to him. Sam had just been so perfect, and Dean had been so terrified of admitting his feelings. Things could go wrong: Sam could admit that this whole thing was a mistake, he could turn out to be a monster, he could- let's just say a lot of bad things could happen. But, right after Dean had said those four words, he knew it wasn't a mistake. It was nowhere near a mistake, actually. 

Sam looked so happy, happier than Dean had ever seen him. If Dean could bring this look onto Sam's face with just those few words, Dean was going to always tell Sam that he loved him. Sam deserved to be happy. Always. And somehow Sam's little speech had kind of made Dean feel that maybe he deserved it too. Maybe he should be selfish this once. Just this once. He could chose Sam and be happy, finally. 

"I love you too, Dean." 

Dean smiled, leaning in to kiss Sam again. Yeah, he had never expected a case to get this as the ending. How could it? Nothing like this had ever happened to either of them, not with real, actual, honest, one hundred percent love. Dean loved Sam, Sam loved Dean, and there was a happier ending to this case than any other case had ever happened. Maybe ghosts haunting gay couples weren't that bad after all.

(They were, but you know what I mean)

And maybe bad things were going to happen to them, maybe they weren't, but that didn't matter. They'd get through it, no matter what would happen. They were very happy. Extremely happy. And they were going to keep themselves happy, 'cause they were Sam and Dean Winchester and they could kick fate's asses. They were going to be happy forever, together. 'Cause they loved each other, and they always would...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! The story sadly didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to be, probably because I dragged it out too long. Sorry for that. But thanks for reading anyways, and I hope to see you in my other stories.


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